One small mistake, turned out to a big quarrel

Since we're all just freshmen in De La Salle Canlubang, we met lots of new people. New faces which we didn't even have a thought of before. It is like a small place wherein people from different places were gathered. We're all complete strangers to one another. Through the concept of Mystery, I never knew I'd have this one friend who'd be really dear to me. During the first days, we were complete strangers, but then for some reason, we easily became bestfriends. I am so happy that I have her, she is my soulmate. I also met someone who made my days brighter. He became one of the most important persons in my life right now.. 

**There is this one concept about the theory, "Coordinated Management of Meaning", called Coordination.
Coordination directs our attention to the ways in which our actions come together to produce patterns. These patterns comprise the events and objects of the social world in which we live. Coordination suggests that all events and objects in our social worlds are constructed by inter weaved activities of multiple persons**

Going back to the story..

The concept Coordination applied to us in many ways. It applied to us when we became really close and when the time came when me and my bestfriend really felt connected to each other. Despite the happiness we felt with each other's company, we started to face different types of conflicts.Negative aura filled in the room when this one mistake of mine was done. My bestfriend told me something about this man I am dating, so I got really confused and over-thought of the things which are happening. She wanted to keep it as a secret but I decided to tell it to the guy to make everything clearer. But I realized that what I did was a mistake. It got bigger and bigger until it involved lots of different people. 

The Resolution:

We talked about the problem, said sorry at each other. We compromised and explained our own sides. By just talking, we solved the problem. It all turned out that it was just a big misunderstanding. Even if the problem was solved, when I talk to her, it never felt like how it used to feel like before. Though I wanted us to be back from how we were before, it may be hard for her to put back the trust she once gave me.

Source:  http://www.utwente.nl/cw/theorieenoverzicht/Theory%20clusters/Language%20Theory%20and%20Linguistics/Coordinated_Management_Meaning.doc/

A Teenage Couch Potato

I may be a couch potato at some times. Meaning, I stay up watching television all day instead of doing other things. 

I never thought that television could teach me things about life. 

It shaped me. 

I usually base my everyday life on TV shows.

I even think my life is in a movie.

This is when I am struck by the Cultivation Theory. 

Cultivation Theory
It looks at the mass media as a socializing agent and investigates whether television viewers come to believe the television version of reality the more they watch it.


The theory states that in every situation in your life, you naturally think like what would happen or what you would do based on the movies and TV shows you have watched.

We've got lots of experiences that our behaviors, attitude, personality, beliefs and dispositions were based on the things which we have watched in the television.

As for my experiences..

I have two little cousins. Because of their yayas, they were really exposed to drama TV shows. They got used to watching the stressing dramas in the local channels. There came a time when their parents were fighting. But it's not actually a big fight. It was just an argument. But then, because of the influence of television to them, they both cried in their rooms secretly. They prayed there so that their parents won't get annulled.

Because of television, a small argument made them think too much. Like what they have watched in the television, they already thought that their parents would be breaking up. That idea naturally came up to them because of television. 

Another example is when we see in the television that when you are in Tondo, Manila, it is full of killers, alcoholics and squatters. But some of our relatives were there. When I was little, after seeing those things about Tondo, I get so scared when I knew that we are going there even if I really haven't seen Tondo. When we reached Tondo, I felt really weird. When I look at other people, I already label them as rapists, etc. even if I still haven't really talked to them or really know them. Because of what I see from the television, I naturally assumed that people might be bad in Tondo.

One last example is about my friend who broke up with her boyfriend. She was clearly influenced by the movie, "One More Chance". In the movie, it was shown that when two people broke up because for some reason, after some time, you would still be back together no matter what happens and no matter how long it might take you to forget all the mistakes, the point is that you'd still get back together after a long break up. Because of the movie, her mind was set that they will still be back together. Because of the movie, it shows the lovers hope that things will still get better and that they will still be back in the future. The problem is that when they will never get back together. Because she's still waiting for the time for them to be together again, she becomes stuck in the past. This is what happened to my friend, she locks in her hope even if there are no chances that they will still be together again. This is the effect from the influence of the movie to her.

What's your face look like?

We have lots of different faces which shows who we really are..

Through these faces, we could show our personality and how we handle things. Our face shows us how we work in groups and as an individual. It shows how we handle a conflict depending on their culture or type.

Face Negotiation Theory mainly tells us about providing a basis for predicting how people will accomplish face-work in different cultures.

**Face-work is the communication behaviors people use to build and protect their own face and to protect, build or threaten the face of another person.

Way back in 2006, one movie trended world wide. This movie is entitled, "High School Musical". 

In this movie, it showed lots of different faces and stereotypes during high school. 

The movie showed the basketball players or the jocks

The geeks or smart people

The skater dudes

The cheerleaders 

And lastly.. The preps.

 

In this movie, it showed when one jock tried to join the drama club. All the jocks reacted because it's not who they are. It was clearly explained in their song, 

"Stick Tto The Status Quo"

[Zeke]
You can bet
There's nothin' but net
When I am in a zone and on a roll
But I've got a confession
My own secret obsession
And it's making me lose control

Everybody gather around

[SPEKING]
If troy can tell his secret
Then I can tell mine
I bake

[CHAD]
What?

[ZEKE]
I love to bake
Strudel, scones even apple pandowdy.

[JOCKS]
Not another sound

[ZEKE]
Some day I hope to make the perfect crème Brule

CHORUS:
No, no, noooooooooooo
No, no, no
Stick to the stuff you know
If you wanna be cool
Follow one simple rule
Don't' mess with the flow, no no
Stick to the status quo

[Martha]
Look at me
And what do you see?
Intelligence beyond compare
But inside I am stirring
Something strange is occurring
Is a secret I need to share

[Braniacs]
Open up' dig way down deep

[MARTHA]
Hip-hop is my passion
I love to pop and lock and jam and break

[JAKE]
Is that even legal

[BRANIACS]
Not another peep

[MARTHA]
It's just dancing
Sometimes I think it's cooler then homework

CHORUS:
No, no, noooooooooooo
No, no, no
Stick to the stuff you know
It it's better by far
To keep things are they are
Don't mess with the flow, no no
Stick to the status quo

[Skater dude1]
Listen well
I'm ready to tell
About a need that I cannot deny
Dude, there is no explanation
For this awesome sensation
But I'm ready to let it fly

[Skater people]
Speak your mind you'll be heard

[SKATERDUDE1]
If troy wants to be a singer
Then I'm coming clean
I play the cello

[SKATERDUDE2]
Awesome what is it?

[SKATERDUDE1]
*DOES A AIR CELLO*

[SKATERDUDE2]
A saw

[SKATERDUDE1]
No dude is like a giant violin
[SKATER PEOPLE]
Not another word

[SKATERDUDE2]
Do you have to wear a costume?

[SKATERDUDE1]
Coat and tie

CHORUS:
No, no, no
Stick to the stuff you know
If you wanna be cool
Follow one simple rule
Don't' mess with the flow, no no
Stick to the status quo

CHORUS:
No, no, noooooooooooo
No, no, no
Stick to the stuff you know
It it's better by far
To keep things are they are
Don't mess with the flow, no no
Stick to the status quo

[Sharpay]
This is not what I want
This is not what I planned
And I just go to say
I do not understand
Something is really

[RYAN]
Something not right

[SHARPAY]
Really wrong

[SHARPAY AND RYAN]
And we gotta get things
Back were they belong
We can do it

[Skater dude1]
Gotta play

[Skater people]
Stick with what you know

[Ryan and sharpay]
We can do it

[Martha]
Hip- hop hooray

[Braniacs]
She has got to go

[Ryan and sharpay]
We can do it

[Zeke]
Crème Brule

[Jocks]
Keep your voice down low

[EVERYONE]
Not another peep
No, not another word
No, not another sound
No

[SHARPAY]
Everybody quiet

[Spoken by gabriella]
Why is everybody staring at you?

[Spoken by taylor]
Not me, you

[Spoken by gabrella]
Because the call backs?
I can't have people staring at me
I really can't

CHORUS:
Noooooooooooooo, no, no, no
Stick to the stuff you know
If you wanna be cool
Follow one simple rule
Don't' mess with the flow, no no
Stick to the status quoooooooooooo

CHORUS:
No, no, no
Stick to the stuff you know
It it's better by far
To keep things are they are
Don't mess with the flow, no no
Stick to the status
Stick to the status
Stick to the status quo

 How it is connected in the theory

Face negotiation theory applies to this movie because to avoid or to solve a conflict, they have their own places to stand on. It tells them that if you're a basketball player, you stay just inside the walls of the gym. You can't join other types because it might be a shame for the whole group, so in order to protect your group, you should stay in it. 

Also another example is when you degrade others to put yourself up. Sharpay, from the movie, showed this when she and her brother thinks that they are the only ones who are on top. They degrade the other stereotypes especially when others joined in the drama club with them. 

I therefore conclude that this theory is.....

Because of all the examples and scenarios, I think that Face Negotiation Theory is true. It's not just in the movies but it is in reality. :)

Reality Check! What's my Conflict-Management Styles?

For me, my Conflict-Management Styles are Compromising and Integrating. I never fail to perform the give and take of ideas of each member in a group. I treat other members equally. They could share what they wanted to share to the group just how I share ideas to them. We exchange accurate information for the group to solve the problem. I am more of a team-work person. The team gets in a conflict, so they work together to solve the problem.

What would be my Face Negotiating Strategy?

My Face Negotiating Strategy would be Face Giving. I am a person who easily gets guilty and I don't want anyone to get embarrassed by me. For me, humiliating others is very rude and degrading. So I usually defend and support another person's need for inclusion.

I and Me, is there a difference?

Well actually there is.. We have this thing called, "Symbolic Interactionism"

As the name implies, symbolic interactionism is most concerned with the processes and results of human communication through gestures and sounds with shared meanings. 

Source: http://www.lotsofessays.com/viewpaper/1684598.html

"I and Me" in Symbolic Interactionism

• "I"- process of thinking and acting (based in individual interests)
• "Me"- reflective process- "generalized other" refers to the "self", again looking at oneself through the eyes of a "generalized other"
• Generalized Other is a form of social control
• "I" responds to "me" and "me" reflects the "I"
• "I" is responsible for social change

Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jwOTkj4cnU

Conclusion: "I" is different from "Me" because...

“I” is the person who you think you are. “Me” is the person the people around you think you are.

 

An example for this is when people completely misunderstood what you really mean..

One incident was a friend was talking to me. I was very interested in her kwento. 

While she was telling me her story, I said, "Ah talaga? Oh tapos?"

What she thought is that I was being mean to her and that I am being sarcastic. 

But then, I really mean it when I said the words, 

it's just that the way I pronounced it came out in a wrong way. 

When connecting it to the "I and Me" topic, "I" shows here that I really mean what I said and that I am very interested. But then a misunderstanding came up that the "Me" in the situation was when she thought I was being sarcastic.

That was my understanding from the lesson about the Symbolic Interactionism.

Hey mom, you shouldn't be doing that!

I have an example for Tact Altercasting. 

Before anything, what is Tact Altercasting? 

Tact Altercasting means that we put ourselves as senders in a role that ‘evokes’ a natural counter-role for the other. Some common role sets are for instance expert-unknowing public, fool - normal, helper - dependent, scapegoat - sinners, etc.

My example is about a mother. What comes to your mind when you hear or even see a mother?

 A mom always takes care of their child.

The mom handles all the house chores at home.

Then what if you see a mom drinking, wasted or smoking?

So when you see these kinds of mom, you think to yourself that they are so not a mother-like mom. It ruins their beautiful picture of taking care of the house and the children. This is an example of a Tact Altercasting.

As a Team Captain

Me as a Team Captain is an example of Manded Altercasting

I was a team captain of two teams: 

Cheerleading Team and Badminton Team of St. Scholastica's College Westgrove.

There are things which I learned about being a Team Captain.

A team captain's first priority is her team!

Based from my experiences, I learned different things when it comes to my team. My team is called as, "Il Baile". It is in Spanish, which means "to dance". As a leader, I inspire and motivate my team. I work 5 times as hard as them to show them what should be done. When you're leader, your members act as your followers. You show them what they should follow. It taught me strength. I can never show my members that I am weak, I have to show them that I am strong in every way to keep them together. 

There's this also one thing which I learned, "Delegate; Do not abdicate". I don't do all the work all the time. For me, I practice my team with Equality and Unity. We work as a team. I have my teammates to help me with things and to make things lighter.

(I'm at the center together with the other team captains)

In order to give out good training, I show my members how things should be done. I practice things many times before teaching it to my team, just to make sure I show them what it should be done. I model good character and integrity to my team. 

The most important is that I discipline them. I tell them when things should be taken seriously and when it's time for jokes. As a Team Captain, I should be disciplined. I watch every move carefully, because one wrong move might destroy my name. 

Those were the things which I should do and what I did as a Team Captain.

Embarassing moment in Super Bowl

There was this one experience of mine which got complicated because of the wrong words I uttered which led to misunderstanding.

We were planning to eat at Super Bowl in Festival Mall. 

So when we got there, we started to order our food. My dad left because he's going to stroll in the mall. So we ordered. I don't know why but my dad came back really fast. The waiter was repeating all our orders to make sure he listed the right food. 

So he started saying, "One Iced tea, One Lemonade, Sweet and Sour Fish......". He was telling it to us in a fast way but it was clear and okay. From my view to the waiter, I saw my dad walking. So I was shocked because he usually goes back when the food is already served. 

My dad was standing exactly behind the waiter. While the waiter was still repeating the orders, I shouted at my dad saying, "Ang bilis mo naman!". But then, since it looks like I was looking at the waiter when I shouted at my dad, the waiter thought he was the one which is the mabilis one. 

I got really embarassed because the waiter started to apologize for the fast talking although I'm not talking to him when I said Ang bilis mo naman. Clearly, there was a misunderstanding. It was really embarrassing because the waiter thought I was shouting at him.

What I should do to prevent the misunderstanding..

First, I shouldn't cut the waiter when talking. Also, I should have shown the waiter clearer that I was talking to my dad that time and not to him. I should have waited for him to finish what he was saying. I shouldn't have done that because I was talking to him then I rudely cut him off then talked to my dad. It was a bit churlish of me when I shouted. I should be really careful next time.

Because of what we have learned in the Speech Act Theory...

I really learned to be very careful with my words. When saying something I should be very clear on what I am talking about and who I am talking to. I should utter the right words to give out the right message I want the listener to receive. As an ABCA student, it helped me to realize and know these things from the Speech Act Theory.